Monday, August 01, 2005

Wrong Way - Go Back Now!


PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE ANY FURTHER!

Dis the cord...Welcome fnord...

To see the Fnords means to have moved beyond mere looking, into the proFound act of true seeing. (I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ THIS!)


To see the Fnords means a breaking away from Consensus Reality, an unplugging from the Matrix, a waking up out of the Collective Daydream.

It's spotting the glitches in the system, being able to read the invisible code between the lines, becoming awake within The Dream.

It's being initiated into a greater mystery. It's the alchemical transformation from NEOphyte to ONEder Master.

It cannot be spoken of directly...only described via metaphysical metaphors, silly similies, and non-smoking sequiturs. (YOU'RE STILL THERE AREN'T YOU?!)


It's like all the road signs pointing to the town of Invisible. Fnord cannot actually be seen, only alluded to. It's the implicate order...almost made visible. It's felt and intuited, rather than perceived with the conscious mind.

It's a symbol, a full figure of speech, figurative...rather than literal.

It's Truth amidst the dross, the sense within the nonsense, the chaotic order within ordered chaos...

It's the questioning of what's obvious & seemingly real, the surREAL within the mundane, the sublime within the ordinary.

It's breaking free from a lifetime of conditioning, of societal brainwashing, of years of simulation programming.

It's FREE Mr & Mrs DOM...

Seeing the Fnords is the first (& last) step to SEEING.

I hear the Fnords are just lovely this time of year. in-Joy the view...

Sweet Lucid Dream,

Another Point of You : OM...

(DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU...)


~~~

*Wrong Way - Go Back Now!

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING:

Fnord?

Fnord is where you left your sunglasses.
Fnord creates the holes in black holes.
Fnord is evaporated herbal tea without the herbs.

Fnord is that funny feeling you get when you reach for the Snickers bar and come back holding a slurpee.

Fnord is the 23 1/3rd state, next to Indifference.
Fnord is this really, really tall mountain, lost in the clouds, enshrouded by mist, and made of glass.
Fnord is a pack of condoms...all riddled with holes.
Fnord is the dried-up tube of lubricant.


Fnord is the reason hot dogs come in packs of eight, and buns in bags of six.

Fnord is the reason why the moon and sun appear exactly the same size as seen from Earth.
Fnord is a full lunar eclipse on a cloudy night.
Fnord is the blue stripes in the road that never get painted.
Fnord is place where those socks vanish off to in the laundry.
Fnord is an arcade game like Pacman without the little dots.
Fnord is a little pufflike cloud you see at 5pm.
Fnord is the tiny part that falls from the car for no reason.

Fnord is the tool the dentist uses on unruly patients.
Fnord is the blank paper that cassette labels are printed on.
Fnord is where the buses hide at night.
Fnord is the empty pages at the end of the book.

Fnord is why Burger King uses paper instead of foam.
Fnord is the little green hard thing in your shoe poking into your instep.
Fnord is the orange print in the yellow pages.
Fnord is when a metaphor is taken literally.
Fnord is when Life is taken personally.
Fnord is Death warmed up in a microwave.


Fnord is a pickle without the bumps.
Fnord is why ducks eat trees.
Fnord is toast without bread.
Fnord is butter without a knife
Fnord is a venetian blind without the slats.
Fnord is an unrhyming limerick.

Fnord is the screw left over when you take something apart, then put it back together again.
Fnord is the space between a pair.
Fnord is the red part of a green pear.
Fnord is a short walk on a long pier.
Fnord is the 13th step in 12 step programs.
Fnord is the minus Ten Commandments.

Fnord is the long-winded explanation in a short story.
Fnord is when the bad news cancels out the good news.

Fnord is the lint in the navel of the mites that eat the lint in the navel of the mites that eat the lint in Fnord's navel.

Fnord isn't this, that, or the other thing...It's what's left after they're all gone.

Fnord is what only your cats see when they both suddenly stare at the same place on a blank wall.
Fnord is the sound only dogs can hear.
Fnord is the song playing over and over in your head.

Fnord is a four-leaf clover with a missing leaf.
Fnord is a fortune cookie with no fortune in it.


Fnord is double-jointed and has a cubic spline.

Fnord never sleeps.
Fnord states: If you can read this, you're not truly awake.
Fnord is the dream within a dream.

Fnord is the "i" in id, and the 'do' in "I Don't".

Fnord is the Latin name for navel lint.
Fnord is German for Nordics.
Fnord is an apostrophe on drugs.
Fnord is an asterisk in rehab.
Fnord is any number written with letters.
Fnord is a letter containing nothing but numbers.
Fnord in the period after period.
Fnord is the lower case in CAPITAL.

Fnord is the gunk that sticks to the inside of your car's fenders.
Fnord is the source of all the zero bits in your computer.

Fnord is the odd between the even.
Fnord is the 'v' between heavens.
Fnord cannot be ignored, explored, or absorbed.
Fnord cannot be bought, caught, or taught.


Fnord is the sound aliens make when they sneeze.
Fnord is a scared ghost.
Fnord is a wet towel.
Fnord is a male lesbian.
Fnord is that itch you can't scratch in public.
Fnord is that UFO you see when you're alone.
Fnord is your favourite band that no-one else has heard of.
Fnord is that non-existent person in a crowd calling out your name.
Fnord is when everybody is staring at the person behind you.
Fnord is Ms. Teary Arse.

Fnord is the "gh" in enough.
Fnord is the "o" in women.
Fnord is the "ti" in vacation.
Fnord is why "ghoti" smells like fish.

Fnord is the echo of silence.
Fnord is the parsley on the plate of life.
Fnord is the sales tax on happiness.
Fnord is the preposition at the end of sixpence.

Fnord is the broken set of traffic lights.


Fnord is the feeling in your brain when you hold your breath too long.
Fnord is the reason latent homosexuals stay latent.

Fnord is the blue liquid used in tampax commercials.
Fnord is the "fun" in funerals.
Fnord is having the hiccups in a group meditation.
Fnord is the shy one in a class of theatre students.
Fnord is the threesome making out in the cinema.
Fnord is the one making out in the cinema.

Fnord is the donut hole.
Fnord is the whole donut.
Fnord is the donut without a hole.
Fnord is the hole without the doughnut.

Fnord is the dry spell in a drought.
Fnord is the blood stain on a red shirt.
Fnord is the little bit of light in a darkroom.
Fnord is the birthday candle that won't blow out.

Fnord inspired chain-email.
Fnord is the color only blind people can see.
Fnord is the sound only deaf people can hear.
Fnord adores a vacuum.
Fnord is a paradox understood.
Fnord is a joke not understood.
Fnord is the answer to a koan.
Fnord is the KAPOW in a comic.
Fnord is the silence after a comic's punchline.

Fnord is the serial number on a box of cereal.

Fnord is the Universe with decreasing entropy.
Fnord is the yin without yang.
Fnord is Jung without the gin.
Fnord is the tonic without the Djinn.

Fnord is the I in I CHING, but no-one knows which one.

Fnord is the psychiatrist psychiatrists see.
Fnord is the psychic psychics go to.
Fnord is the conspiracy that conspiracy theorists don't even know about.
Fnord is a secret society advertising for members.

Fnord is a pyrotumescent retrograde onyx obelisk.
Fnord is a prepubescent renegade Bronx oboeist.

Fnord is why lisp has so many parentheses.


Fnord is neither a particle nor a wave.
Fnord is a notion in the drop.

Fnord is the space in between the pixels on your screen.

Fnord is the nut in peanut butter and jelly.
Fnords never know what time to wind their watch.
Fnord is an antebellum flagellum fella.

Fnord is a sentient vacuum cleaner.

Fnord is the smallest number greater than zero.
Fnord lives in the empty space above a decimal point.

Fnord is the odd-coloured scale on a dragon's back.
Fnord is the odd-coloured brick on the side of a house.
Fnord is the redundant coin slot on arcade games.

Fnord was last seen naked on a dune.
Fnord was last seen in a tuxedo in June.

Fnord is the founding father of the phrase "founding father".
Fnord is the last bit of sand you can't get out of your shoe.

Fnord is repeat...on repeat.
Fnord is the reason for triplicate.

Fnord is Jesus's speech advisor.
Fnord keeps a spare eyebrow in her pocket.
Fnord is why doctors ask you to cough.

Fnord is the "ooo" in varooom.
Fnord is the "rrr" in aarrrgh!
Fnord is the "mmm" in Hmmm....
Fnord is the thought preceding Ummm.

Fnord uses two bathtubs at once but only leaves one continuous ring.

Fnord is the one-sided coin in coincidence.
Fnord is the road leading to Synchroni City.
Fnord is a pair'o'ducks involving only one duck.
Fnord is the pair of ins in the town of Infinity.


Fnord is the oh 'no' at the end of volcano
Fnord is the 'i' in the centre of hurricane.
Fnord is Revolution without the leading 'R'.
Fnord is seeing that Spirit has two i's...

Fnord is dangerous. Art is dangerous. Fnord is Art.

Fnord is 'drawerof' spelt backwards.
Fnord is DOG spelt sideways.

~~~

Please Note - I did not write the above.

No one did.

And no one ever will...

~~~


ps(st) - One more little fnord that I think you may like:

*High-heel Shoe Prints*

I dreamed that I was walking down the beach with the Goddess. And I looked back and saw footprints in the sand.

But sometimes there were two pairs of footprints, and sometimes there was only one. And the times when there was only one pair of footprints, those were my times of greatest trouble.

So I asked the Goddess, "Why, in my greatest need, did you abandon me?"

She replied, "I never left you. Those were the times when we both hopped on one foot." And lo, I was really embarrassed for bothering Her with such a stupid question.

(An Atheist is someone with no invisible means of support...)

~~~

Is not Life just one huge 'subliminal' that many of us have found ourselves caught up in?

~ A continuous series of flashes moving across our vision - urging us to pay attention to this or that, buy this, listen to that, watch this, get involved with them, reject those over there, try this on...?

Our True Vision is one of Infinity, Eternity & unlimitedness...yet many continue to notice the little suggestive flashes, the subliminals so to speak - and, becoming blind to the Cosmic Picture, they follow these little flashes, out of the rabbit-hole of ONEderland, and into a world of illusory & transient 'definites' & 'absolutes'.

The subconscious is definitely a powerful place. And many have taken up permanent residence there. Pity really, because the view from the temple of Higher/Super Consciousness is far more interesting, the views more glorious, and the horizons stretch out to infinity...

To Add : The world is Illusion - Subliminals keep it looking real.


~~~

Please disregard the following.

The (adopt camp Robin voice now) 'Holy Spirit Fnord!' merely writes or channels 'through' people. And thus no one single entity can lay claim to any Fnord scripture. The moment this occurs is when the entire temple collapses, the game is up, and the needle on the record comes off - forcing all revelers at the party to go home before the first glass spills.

The Goddess Eris unites through chaos. Pass the Apple to another without taking a bite. (I repeat, No Code present - No Code present.)

I could get into big trouble for even saying this much...but here goes...'this much'.

~ Please disregard/ignore/delete all of the above.

Ms. Chief : I AM.

~~~


Fnord

A fnord is disinformation or irrelevant information intending to misdirect, with the implication of a conspiracy.

The word was coined as a nonsense word in the 'Principia Discordia' by Kerry Thornley and Greg Hill, but was popularized by The Illuminatus! Trilogy of books by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. In these novels, it is claimed that the interjection "fnord" possesses hypnotic power over readers. A conspiracy of the world's controlling powers conditions everyone from a young age to be unable to consciously see the word "fnord"; instead, every appearance of the word will unconsciously generate a general feeling of uneasiness and confusion.

In the Shea/Wilson construct, fnords are scattered liberally in the text of newspapers and magazines, causing fear and anxiety in those following current events. However, there are no fnords in the advertisements, encouraging a consumerist society. It is implied in the books that fnord is not the actual word used for this task, but merely a substitute, since most readers would be unable to see the actual word. In the movie 'They Live', the main character discovers a similar conspiracy, when commercials are revealed to have hidden conformity messages visible only with specially prepared glasses.

To see the fnords means to be unaffected by the supposed hypnotic power of the word or, more loosely, of other fighting words. The phrase "I have seen the fnords" was famously graffitoed on a railway bridge (known locally as Anarchy Bridge) between Earlsdon and Coventry city centre throughout the 1980s and 1990s, until the bridge was upgraded. The bridge and the phrase were mentioned in the novel 'A Touch of Love' by Jonathan Coe.

"Fnord" has become a popular word with followers of Discordianism. It is often used in Usenet and other computer circles to indicate a random or surreal sentence; anything out of context (intentionally or not) may be labelled "fnord".

~~~

Please ignore everything you have just read. It never happened. By sheer chance, you have somehow come across these imaginary words...so delete them from your memory immediately! Know that you have only hallucinated them, and continue on with your life as if nothing surREAL, strange or peculiar has occurred.

Do this now.

Thank You for complying.