This Present Unwanted
Skin aflame, overbearing, this pain...
Left in wonder, in the dark of cold
Body revolting with a spreading stain
All smiling from magazines
Lifelong dreams replaced
by something I cannot see
Idol sold out
Illusions so smirking
*Can I order the joy sans the sorrow?
Can I have today what I imagine tomorrow?
Can I choose ~ my own addictions?
Can I change ~ unwanted reflections?
This is not what I had planned
a decade ago staring up at the stars
An alternate preview previously had
promised the world, to take me far
Prickles multiplying, subtracting ambition
Adding to fears & doubts in my mind
All of me acting in division
Spelling defeat in record time
Over and out?
A close awakening or
I tear away behind the veils
Clawing and peeling away at the walls
Frantically searching for the spirit within
or releasing demons from bleeding halls?
Pretending to be everybody's muse
Passing off all these borrowed words
as something akin to wisdom & truth
when I'm drowning within a flooded world
Let hurting out
Please help me honesty
Free-falling to just
Emotions nil. The lowest ebb.
No tears escape these sleeping eyes
Seeking to smash, through to beyond
To catch a glimpse of a greater I.